Month: December 2005

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Ring of Fire


Had a most excellent time over at the Losiers for their beer and wings night. Started off by showing up a little bit earlier than everyone else so I can take advantage of the hot tub. After giving Samantha some interviewing tips, we went to the garage to help out with the wings. This was an excellent setup…a propane burner hooked up to a giant pot to fry the wings in, then we take them out and douse them with four types of sauce…my favourite being the secret sauce from the Leaky Canoe in Meaford, Ontario and the extra hot blow your mind out sauce.

After munching on some tasty treats and attempting to play washers we played road hockey for a few hours. At the moment of typing this the morning after, I am the sorest man on the Earth even after taking another hot tub last night, but am feeling good about assisting in the winning goal.

Today: Rest and Relaxation. Mom and Dad are leaving for North Bay which probably means I will not see them again for awhile since I will be going up to Hearst tomorrow. Tonight, we are going to attempt to go sliding but something tells me I’ll be a little sore for that.

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Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Raaaa

Highlights of the trip so far:

  • Mom saying to me that she is having a harrible day (aka, a horrible hair day)
  • Mom asking “Ryan, do you remember when we were kids?”
  • Sitting by the fire and drinking copious amounts of liquids
  • The Christmas Eve Bash at the Palmers
  • Receiving some sweet, sweet gifts
  • Munching on some Losier beef jerky

Non-Higlights of the trip so far:

  • Awful, AWFUL weather from Deep River to Temagami
  • Going to a semi-lame stag (hey, where’s the mix?) and then waking up to pick up Vero in Hearst while nursing the mother of all headaches
  • Having Mom show Vero the photo albums

What’s up next?

  • Going to the wings and beer night at the Losiers
  • Watching some Smallville Season 2
  • Going to Hearst on the 30th for a few days. Meet the Parents! yikes!
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Merry Christmas!

This is by far my favourite picture of Claude and I from my Christmas party last week.

No bad weather yet to report…however, I hear the rain is supposed to start sometime this morning. I suppose rain won’t be bad. It’s the freezing rain which is the worst.

I’m getting a slew of Christmas cards from all of you which I thank you for. There are a few people I still have to send out cards to (hello? Anyone have Rocky and Michelle’s mailing address?) but that’ll have to be done after Christmas. Yes, that’s right. I’m a poor planner.

Check out this website here for an AMAZING game where there is a painting and you have to identify artists within the painting. For example, there is a picture of a guy taking a sledgehammer to a pumpkin…hence, The Smashing Pumpkins. Voila! So far we’ve found about 54 of them. 74 is impossible.

Joyeux Noel to everyone and if you’re in Kap this holiday, drop on by!

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Snowstorm Ahoy!

Potential bad news on the Winter Storm Front…looks like freezing rain tomorrow which hinders the trip back home for Christmas.

It’s not too bad, but I heard Christmas Eve is the same if I wanted to wait until then.

I’m debating whether or not to just leave tomorrow morning now…but I heard that Maureen may not be getting off until 2:30 anyhow. So what’s the big deal if I leave early in the morning?

I’ll make a few phone calls and find out the scoop with all the parties involved and make a decision from there.

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Is There Lint in Space?


It may be my small non-High Definition Television screen, but is there no lint ever on Darth Vader’s cape? How is that possible?

Some theories amongst me and some friends (alright, just me. And Trish.) have arisen.

Why there is no lint on Darth Vader’s Cape:

  • The Force
  • When he boards a different space ship (like when his shuttle goes to the big pizza shaped spaceship) he lets his cape flow out of the airlock and vacuum all the fuzzies off of it
  • He has the uncanny skill of using his lightsaber to nick the lint off. That’s a Master right there.

Random Thoughts:

  • By far, the best gift I received last year was something that just kept going all year long. My Star Wars trivia calendar given to me by my loving parents. Benoit, Claude and I have made a trivia challenge every month where we accumulate points depending on who gets the most answers right. So far, I’m doing pretty good…I think I’ve won two months so that’s some sweet cash coming to me.
  • I went to Costco last night in search of the new Star Wars Chronicles: The Prequels book which I heard was there. Turns out…it’s not the biggest deal in the world. ESPECIALLY for $120. That’s right…it’s an encyclopedia of knowledge on the Prequels and it’s well over $100. Is it worth it? I think I shall look for it used in a few years time.
  • I still have to buy a slew of gifts, but no real time to do it. Actually, it’s not time that is the issue…it’s the fact that I can’t think of things to buy people. That’s pretty sad. Something tells me that Nanny won’t be seeing her gift until after Christmas which is sad. Perhaps it will get there in time if I ship it tonight.
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Liberal Blog

*Warning: I am not trying to try and say what political party you should vote for. I’m just going to say the Liberal’s blog is one of the funniest things I’ve read in awhile.*

So Krista sent me a link of the Liberal Party’s blog. The party has a blog? The last time I remember them dabbling in blogdom was when the Prime Minister had his own blog which said stuff like “I ate some Albertan beef today. Yum.” Not too exciting.

Now comes along Scott Feschuk – chief speechwriter to Paul Martin making blog entries of the Liberal party on the road during their election campaign.

I have only read his first entry but I am cracking up. This is quite hilarious and at first, I thought it was a joke. But lo and behold, this thing is for real.

Read the Liberal Party’s exploits on the campaign trail here.

Heck, while you’re at it, why don’t you read Rick Mercer’s blog here. It’s chock full of goodness.

iplaying: Twisted Logic – Coldplay X&Y

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Chuck Norris – How Cool are You?

This will be an ongoing project to find all the cool Internet features on Chuck Norris.

Here is a list of things indicating Chuck Norris’ abilities. Be warned that there is some vulgar language.

  1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
  3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
  4. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  5. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a tillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
  6. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
  7. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.
  8. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
  9. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  10. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
  11. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
  12. Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
  13. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn’t was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.
  14. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left,right,B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.
  15. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’s way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
  16. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
  17. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe,and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
  18. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
  19. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  20. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
  21. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  22. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, “Holy crap! That’s Chuck Norris!” Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
  23. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  24. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  25. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose’s shit.
  26. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  27. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up,he’s pushing the Earth down.
  28. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  29. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  30. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  31. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  32. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
  33. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
  34. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  35. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  36. Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t fuck with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
  37. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  38. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
  39. To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
  40. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
  41. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
  42. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
  43. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
  44. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.
  45. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
  46. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
  47. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
  48. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
  49. When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”
  50. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O’Brien’s lever that shows clips from “Walker: Texas Ranger” and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan’s wife.
  51. Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
  52. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
  53. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

I would also like to point out a great video I found the other night…
Why Chuck Norris is Such as Badass

iplaying: Into the Sun – Lifehouse – Lifehouse. What can I say? I’m giving Lifehouse another chance at life with their third album which I previously thought was awful.

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Review: Smallville Season One

TV shows on DVD are the devil.

You can get so addicted to watching a show without commercials at any time you wish.

The curse is that you may end up spending a few hours each night trying to watch a few more episodes. Or just take a 5 episode marathon on a Sunday evening trying to complete the season.

Word to the wise…if you can get the next Season of a show, do so right before you watch the season finale…because you know those bastards will have a cliffhanger and then you’ll be just ranting on your blog about how you should have grabbed the second season from Eric.

(very minor spoilers here…I wouldn’t even consider them spoilers but you know how I hate to accidentally read a spoiler. Like when I accidentally read that someone died on Lost) Anyhow…Smallville. I enjoyed the first season. I didn’t know what to expect since my only intro to Superman was the Lois and Clark TV series and recently, the Superman movies. I thoroughly enjoyed the first season as it introduces Clark Kent in a manner which you’ve never seen him – confused, and not in control of his powers. Heck, he doesn’t even know some of his powers that he will end up getting. I also like the constant funny references to the Superman legacy such as Clark saying he never was one to dress in a uniform and save the world. If you only knew…

I really like how Lex Luthor (hey, did anyone know that Lex is short form for Alexander? I just found that out.) is friends with Clark Kent and you can see that it will be very interesting when they end the series to show how they become enemies. Or maybe that happens in Season Two?

I highly recommend the series even to non-Superman lovers. It’s a great show, great cast, good plots (although I was getting tired of the X-Files type oddities showing up every episode) and I cannot wait to grab Season Two off of Eric. That will keep me busy during the holidays.

iplaying: You and Me – Lifehouse – Lifehouse