Hallmark Holiday, Singles Awareness Day (check out the Wikipedia entry on SAD here. It is an excellent read!), the Lover’s Day.
All these words are synonomous with Saint Valentine’s Day.
Let’s take a look at some history (could be completely false coming from Wikipedia, but who cares? It’s so convenient!)
The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of “valentines”. Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards.
In the second half of the 20th century, the practice of exchanging cards was extended to all manners of gifts in the United States, usually from a man to a woman. Such gifts typically include roses and chocolates. In the 1980s, the diamond industry began to promote Valentine’s Day as an occasion for giving jewelry.
Now, that’s interesting. Just think…we should go old school from now on and write a letter to our loved ones. I’m jumping on this like it is 1899!
Personally, I think the whole concept of buying anything on Valentine’s Day is insane. Flowers and assorted items are jacked up in price. Do yourself a favour. Forget the flowers on February 14 and write a poem. Your Valentine du jour will melt. Here’s some sample poetry for you to use:
My eyes glaze over when I look upon your lovely figure
In my ear I hear the words ‘Go Give’r!’
My heart soars when I see you at your brothel
Will you be my Valentine, my dear Ethel?
Granted, you have to replace the last word with the person you are writing about and then make sure the previous line rhymes with the person. It’s simple really. It’s like math. If there is an Ethel out there, I am sure she is digging that poem right about now. Dang, I am good.
So let this be a reality check for all those out there. Do something creative tomorrow. Forget about going out to dinner, forget the gifts bought with money, forget whispering sweet nothings (that won me a point in the Them and Us board game the other week!). Just say “I dig ya babe.” and all should be good in the world.
If you’re with a woman who disagrees with anything I have just written, then perhaps you should really start thinking about your future with that woman. I mean…really.
On this Valentine’s Day, if there are any single people out there reading this, may I recommend you organize your own ‘singles’ outing. I used to organize these a few years back and they were sweet.
Also on this February 14, if you feel like complaining about men in general, I highly recommend you get in touch with Dish, as she is the leader of the Ottawa Chapter of Singles Awareness Day. She even has buttons.
