Month: March 2007

The brain works in mysterious ways. It is also faster than a speeding bullet.

Yesterday when I walked in the lobby of Vero’s residence (sadly, I won’t be seeing that place much longer, the summer term is arriving soon!) I sniffed a heavenly scent of the gravy which you put on your hot chicken sandwiches.

Mmm boy! This automatically placed the following trail of thoughts into my head:

“Boy, I wish I could have a hot chicken sandwich right about now.”
“Hmm…I wonder if Vero would be making a hot chicken sandwich right now?”
“I don’t think she’s made one before for me so I would be satisfied with a poutine instead as she has made those before.”
“Wait, I think I had a hot chicken sandwich at her grandmother’s place in Saint-Jacques-des-Leeds.”
“I really love that place. It was a beautiful town in Quebec with mountains all around. I really think it was the cats meow.”
“You know, I should buy a house and retire there. Hmm…maybe I could buy a house now and have her cousins rent out the place.”

All these thoughts triggered into my brain in the span of 100 meters from the lobby to Vero’s door. It is amazing how many random thoughts you may have in a short time period. I wish there was a device (like in the sci-fi movies) that may record the images you see in your brain and track how fast they move.

Lo and behold I walk into Vero’s place and find a HOT CHICKEN SANDWICH BEING MADE! This blew my mind. Then I rambled off what I was just thinking about to Vero and was telling her how (even though highly improbable) the smell of the gravy has traveled all the way through the residence to the lobby and that’s how I was thinking of the hot chicken sandwich.

So then I got to thinking about premonitions and if somehow they can trigger your nose also and then whatever you are thinking about…you actually think you smell it! I must admit it was a surreal thought but in all honesty, it’s the more likely one as Vero’s residence is pretty vast and it’s really hard to believe that 100 meters and three doors later, the smell of hot chicken gravy was wafting through the halls. Unless her fan was directly linked to the air supply in the lobby somehow – much like how Carrie’s old place had a fan that connected the bathroom to the kitchen. That was lovely.

So that’s that. I had a lovely supper as it always is. I was laughing with Vero at the fact that I hate peas, but you gotta have them with a hot chicken sandwich. It is sacrilege not to!

Well, I bit the bullet on Saturday and headed down to the St. Laurent Centre (yes, that’s right, it’s St. Patty’s Day and I didn’t head to a bar) for…you guessed it.

The Canadian Idol competition.

Alright, now, I haven’t really spoken about it here before but the idea was planted in my head by some British woman who kept calling me to convince me to go to the auditions. She said that she had contacted all my friends and they agreed.

At first, I thought ‘Hogwash!’ but it was too late. The idea was planted that, the Palmer, might actually be decent in the singing category.

So I headed down to the mall with nothing more than my iPod, my guitar, my study notes (mid-term on Wednesday coming up!) and some lemon water for my voice. Hey, I’m no professional here but I read lemon water does the trick. This actually makes sense as I don’t really sing that well after drinking beer all day, but throw a rye and ginger into the mix and WHAMMO, I am the next Alice Cooper.

The line-up was HUGE and I was not too impressed. Many times I thought that I should just bow out so I can go home and enjoy the day. Also, they don’t allow old-timers like me after this year, so this was the last year I could potentially go to it.

Time passes by and I gaze at the number of teeny-boppers and they are practicing like mad and I’m thinking “Holy crap, some of these girls sound awful, but some of them have the sweet angel’s voice.” This reminded me of Vero’s cousin back at Christmas who was going to try out for Canadian Idol this year. I wonder if she was trying out in Ottawa?

I had arrived there around 8am (opening time) and was allowed in around 11:15. Alright, it’s showtime! I summoned the Gods of Rock to help me out and I went into a room and there was a table with 5 people around it. I don’t really watch these Idol shows but I don’t think there are usually 5 judges. Anyhow, they just asked me a few questions like where I was from and what I do nowadays and what kind of music do I play.

So then they say they have something different happening and are wondering if I would mind singing along with someone. You can’t say no at a point like this and so they bring out TOM COCHRANE! Awesomeness! That was totally random! So he turns out to be a decent guy and just wants to sing along to a tune so I tell him the only tune of his that I can play on guitar is Life is a Highway (natch) and I didn’t bother telling him that I don’t really know any of his other songs. That would just insult the guy. I would like to think that they brought him out considering I was probably one of the few older gents there with a guitar in hand.

I have no idea why Tom Cochrane was there to begin with. They were filming it so I’m assuming the audition tapes make it onto the show? Does anyone out there actually watch the show? It was pretty amazing to sing along with Tom on his song and then he asked if I had any songs so instead of playing the regularly scheduled Mr. Jones, I decided, heck, this is a moment of a lifetime on its own, why not pull out a Palmer original in the form of my biography of Stompin’ Tom? So I explain to him that I had been reading Stompin’ Tom’s biography and was inspired to write this song that kinda sounds like a Stompin’ Tom tune in its own right. So I pull out The Stomper, play it for everyone and I don’t know if he was just being nice but he said he thought it was pretty good.

I thanked everyone for the opportunity, shook hands with Mr. Cochrane again and headed home. Flippin’ unbelievable! Pretty awesome day I must say. I don’t even care if I make it onto the show as I have never watched it. Playing with an awesome musician is good enough!

Hmmm…before I start on my post, how many people have joined the new web revolution called Facebook?

Last night I dropped off the guitar at Long & McQuade. We’ll have to see the results to see if it’s worth spending $90 on.

Mike brought up a good point that you have to have a pretty nice (read: expensive) guitar to justify a $90 tune up. One would think you wouldn’t spend that on your $300 guitar. However, I must admit that the old Yamaha has a special place in my heart so maybe it will be the next guitar to get set up.

Today’s topic of conversation revolves around music. Fancy that.

What I would like to discuss are the differences between music releases in the 60s-70s and nowadays. Yes, I am purposely leaving out the 80s.

I am going through the Top 500 Rock Songs of all time and clearly, the majority of them stem from the late 60s – 70s period. I come across many songs by many of the same artists (like Zeppelin, Floyd, etc.) but I noticed a common trend.

Their albums pretty well came out one year after the other. It wasn’t uncommon to see an album come out in ’70, ’71, ’72. Whereas nowadays, I think the norm is every 2 years, give a few extra if you’re an old band who just want to tour every five years (or don’t have enough creative juices).

So, the question is, did they really release a heck of a lot more music for the masses back in the day?

Let’s take a look at the elements of a classic rock album vs. a new album. Mainly – track numbers.

It was very common to see around 8 tracks back in the day on an album, whereas I would think it’s common to see an average of 14 songs nowadays. That’s nearly double, but not quite.

For my thesis here, I will use Led Zeppelin as my classic rock example, and Our Lady Peace as my 90’s example. I will also use a five year span to develop the procedure which will demonstrate the song writing ability of these two bands.

Led Zeppelin I (1969) – 9 songs
Led Zeppelin II (1969 – note that these two albums were released in the SAME year!) – 9 songs
Led Zeppelin III (1970) – 10 songs
Led Zeppelin IV (1971) – 8 songs
House of the Holy (1973) – 8 songs
Total – 44 songs

Naveed (1994) – 11 songs
Clumsy (1997) – 11 songs
Happiness is Not A Fish You Can Catch (1999) – 11 songs
Total – 33 songs

Now, of course, my formula could be off severely. If you take the Smashing Pumpkins against Led Zeppelin, then we are looking at a total of 51 songs being released on albums during a five year period. That’s pretty impressive. Heck, that’s why I like them. Plus, can we say that Led Zeppelin may have been abnormal in that they could create a heck of a lot of songs compared to other bands at the time? Unsure.

On average, if I did a more thorough analysis we would find that there are more songs released by a band in the past than in the present.

Then we get into the whole debate about ‘quality vs. quantity’. I have heard the argument that back in the day, people just released whatever they came up with and some of it was lackluster (aka, not single worthy). So there’s a an argument that you can spend 2 years now and ween through the crap that you would release on album.

However, I disagree with this standpoint as there is still crap coming out on albums, so why don’t you just release everything you enjoy recording at the moment, and if 2 weeks down the line you hate it, so be it. At least you tried. Something tells me this is the point where I will hear from people who just enjoy the singles anyhow and prefer grabbing their favourite tracks off an album instead of listening to the album as a whole.

What am I getting at with my commentary? I want more music from my current artists. An album every year I say! Especially now with the Internet, there’s no reason to wait around until you have 12 songs available. Re-enter the land of singles and then release a few compilation albums every few years.

So my question to all of you is this – do you feel that there was a lot more music being produced in the past? How do you feel about waiting an average of 2 years to hear a new album (which, could be crap)?

This leads into my review of the new Finger Eleven album – Them Vs. You Vs. Me. While it has some alright tunes, it is a different direction. Think ‘One Thing’ but multiply it by 12 and you have their new album. What the heck lads? Disappointment ensues for this gent who has been waiting for a rocking album.

Plus, your album is 30 minutes long. Two years of waiting should at least produce 45 minutes of music.

Well, I believe it has finally hit that point in my life where it’s time to get my guitar ‘set-up’.

There seems to be a buzzing sound while playing the Epiphone acoustic (of Troy fame) and it is probably due to myself upgrading from custom lite strings to medium gauge. I have never got my guitars set-up, where they check the intonation and Lord knows what else, but have heard that you should get this done every once in awhile.

It is around $50-$60 so clearly I wouldn’t even think of getting this done regularly…but considering there’s a problem, it’s a must.

But you know never know…after I get it done, I may be so impressed with the work that I’ll decide to get one guitar set-up each year. A small expense out of the life of a guitar.

I should actually get my Yamaha acoustic set up as it’s been nearly 10 years since I’ve had that beast and nothing has been done to it. However, I must admit that I have never played it since I bought the Epi off of Troy and it’s currently in the hands of others who wish to learn guitar.

This morning I was driving to work listening to The Bear’s Brain Buster challenge (a trivia challenge by the local radio station). Now, some questions are hard, but some are super easy.

The Bear: “How many syllables in the word ‘basketball’?
(silence)
The Bear: “Uhh…Debby? Are you still there?”
Debby: “Yes…uh….seven?”
The Bear: “Wrong.”

Ok, so here I am thinking that radio stations should have automatic ejection questions where if you get a certain question (like the one above) wrong, then you automatically lose. Or, at the very least, become the next contestant on ‘Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?”

So the rest of the weekend was a beaut also as I crashed at Carrie’s pad and managed to snag Alex’s empty bed for the night. It was flippin’ sweet. His duvet is amazing.

Me: “Man, this thing is amazing!”
Sven: “Yeah but it hurts your back after awhile.”
Carrie/Me: “Huh? The duvet hurts your back?”
Sven: “Oh! I thought you were talking about the mattress which is soft!”

After a swell breakfast and a viewing of FUBAR, I popped a Tylenol and headed home for a shower and then headed back out to Vero’s place to go to a hockey game with her family.

Her dad had just picked up this swell GPS unit so we punched in the address for the Hull Arena and off we went. I was very impressed by the GPS technology, especially since it talks to you. I had seen this 2 years ago in Germany but had heard through the grapevine that it had entered the North American shores.

The game was a decent one. I must admit that I was a little tired, but no worries. A little popcorn and some good times kept me awake. After the game we grabbed some pizza and hung out for a bit and then I retired home for the night. Hitting the sack around 10:00 (not forgetting to bump the time up by an hour) I slumbered until I could hear the snow melting the next morning.

Sunday was one of those perfect days where you realize that the winter is coming to an end. +8 degrees, snow is melting, the roads are filthy, but heck, you feel good. I headed over to Eric’s to see his parents and we just sat outside all day with a beer in our hands. Even if the wind cut through you like a knife through margarine, there was still the hot sun to keep us going.

I played a bit of Path of Neo which is the Matrix video game where you control Neo through the entire series. Cool! He picked it up for $10. I will have to try it out someday soon.

Also had some excellent meatloaf by Annie and then headed home where I hung up my new Sam Roberts poster/concert ticket/photo/setlist craft/frame/picture that I assembled and played some guitar.

All in all, a supoib weekend was had. I like weekends where I don’t have to think about school or work or anything at all!

Eric and I have this ambitious idea of doing one thing around the house each year. So we’re going to check out Home Depot and see what courses they have to offer on the weekends.

Ideally I would like to prepare the house for eventual sale (like 5 years down the road, if not longer) so I figure I would start out with laying some ceramic tile in the kitchen. Perhaps the bathroom? Either way, we should go get the skills to do so first and then we can tackle the job.

Friday night brought some fun with friends as Philipp came into town with Sven and two new faces – Morat and Karine (sp?) from Germany and Brazil respectively. The night started off great with me heading home, having a good meal, watching some James Bond and then heading out to Vero’s place to drop off an air mattress and visit her family as they were in town for the weekend.

After a quick chat, I picked up Trish and we headed over to Carrie’s place for a few brewskis. I knew we were in for a good night considering the moment I stepped in the door, Philipp requested that I tell my famous “I can’t speak German” story which took place on the beaches of Hamburg in which I proclaimed “I can’t speak German.” to a fellow at the bar. Anyhow, if you don’t know the story, remind me to tell you in person. It’s much more animated.

I met Morat and Karine who were lovely people and after gabbing for a bit and checking out the status of Alex and Holly’s game of Settlers of Cataan, we headed out to the legendary Heart and Crown. After waiting a good 20 minutes in line, we entered a semi-packed bar – always a laugh when the bars have a lineup for a half-packed place. Guys, you are the Heart and Crown. You don’t have to try and look popular, you ARE popular!

Unfortunately, the band in the back were not the rocking style which we were hoping for and the crowd wasn’t really hopping. We then decided to head out to the front part; even though it’s smaller, there was a better band and we managed to get a table.

Highlights from this portion of the night:
– Sven trying to pick up the coat check girl. He even gives her a tip since she is complaining its cold downstairs.
– A random guy talking about spilling his beer and I mention he’s drinking a KilKenny which then prompted him to say “I cannot complain about my spilled beer when I am in the presence of a beer guru.”

At one point, Karine said she wanted to dance so I say we should go up to the front. She doesn’t follow along so I stand there admiring the band for a bit and then I notice a few girls dancing right next to me. Then one of them hip-checks me and I glance over and think “Hmm…alright, she wants me to dance.” So I keep my eyes forward towards the band and just start dancing and all that is going through my mind is “Well, how do I tell this girl that I have a girlfriend and if she’s interested in me (well, let’s be honest here, I am a Palmer) that it’s no dice for her.” So I’m contemplating how to approach this and I finally turn to her to tell her about Vero and then lo and behold, it was Karine all that time! Ha ha, we had a good laugh. Afterwards I told her what I was thinking and she laughed as she thought I just really didn’t want to dance as I wasn’t even looking at her! Ah, good times.

All in all, it wasn’t the most amazing time I’ve had at the Heart and Crown, but the bar is what you make of it with friends so we all had a good time. I must admit I found something ‘off’ about the beer, did anyone else? It wasn’t sitting well in the stomach.

After the Heart and Crown, Morat, Carrie and Karine hop into a cab as they do not want to go to the Schwarma Nazi for a bite to eat. Sven, Philipp and I are standing there waiting for a taxi when I say the legendary words of the night “”Do you guys want some food or do you guys want some fun”?”

This brought us in the taxi and on our way into Gatineau where the clubs are open for an extra hour of fun. This increased our party level to the nth degree as any spontaneous activity usually does!

Highlights from this portion of the night:
– Sven trying to pick up the coat check girl. He says “Bon soir” to her at the end of the night thinking that will seal the deal. Yes Sven, saying “Good Night” to anyone entices them to say “Hey, wait a second, here’s my phone number!”
– Myself proclaiming “We’re going to the best club in Ottawa!” where Sven and Philipp burst into laughter considering we were in a taxi heading towards Gatineau.
– Some girl sitting next to us who had this incredulous look on her face anytime Sven and Philipp started speaking German to each other.
– The same girl doing some crazy antics near the end of the night.

After we were done in Gatineau, we headed outside where a cop car was waiting in which someone proclaimed “Palmer, that’s not the cab!”. Good thing I didn’t hop into that car!

We then headed to our favourite schwarma house in town – Marroush, Home of the Schwarma Nazi (much like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld). I could write a book on the adventures we have had at Marroush, but will save them for another time.

So we stroll into Marroush around 3:30 in the morning and there aren’t that many people there (understandably) but there is the Schwarma Nazi dancing around the place like a madman and schmoozing with the ladies in the establishment. He was definitely high on something and we just decided to head to the counter and order our meal. Then the Schwarma Nazi has a moment of clarity, looks at me and says “I recognize you.”

Now, I can honestly say that I’ve been to Marroush quite a few times, but I wouldn’t say it’s enough to be recognized. I would say I’ve only been there three times in the past year. So this was a surprise and all of us were impressed.

But then he mentions he has a picture of me. Lo and behold, he pulls out a stack of photographs of various patrons of his establishment over the years (including some risqué female shots…I’m telling you, this man is a dirty old man) and in the middle of the stack is a photo of myself, Larisa and Alex from 5 years ago when we went to the Schwarma Nazi after a Hallowe’een party!

Well we laughed! We couldn’t believe that out of nowhere, he pulls out a photo from 5 years ago! It was incredible!

In all honesty, I knew what he was going to pull out but didn’t tell the guys at the time so it could create a great moment. It turns out that 5 years ago, Alex and I went into Marroush about a month after the Hallowe’en party and the same exact thing happened and he gave us the picture. So this time around, it was the double of the same picture. I was still surprised that he had a copy of the picture however. I think I am going to return the one he gave us on Saturday morning so he has a permanent record of me being there.

As we ate our schwarma outside, there was this guy who was very stoned who comes up to us and says:

“Hey guys, do you have a cigarette?”
“No, sorry. We don’t smoke.”
“Well, how about 2 bucks?” – Where we are thinking that this guy is crazy.
Philipp says “Well, no we don’t have 2 bucks but I’ll give you a bite of my schwarma!”
“Wow, really? Thanks, this is great! (chomp, chomp). Alright, well I have to get going and find my identical twin brother.”
Three minutes later he turns around and heads towards us.
“Hey guys, do you have a cigarette?”
“No, sorry.”
“2 Bucks?”
Then we start laughing as this MUST be his identical twin brother! We ignore him and he trails off into the night.

Then we arrive home and head to the basement so we don’t wake up anyone and have a nightcap.

At the end of the night Philipp proclaims “Top 3, this night is definitely in the Top 3.”

I couldn’t agree more.