I vant to suck your blood!

Spook yer socks off ladies and gents! It’s the night of Ghouls and Goblins and we’re not talking about your girlfriend here (except for you Bobby. Get your girlfriend some help.)

This year, the Hallowe’en bug didn’t really hit me at all as my Ghostbuster costume idea didn’t come to fruition AGAIN (2 years in a row) but I am hopeful for next year. I am also a fan of making a scary costume…so I have my second calling as Vero’s friends are having a Hallowe’en party this weekend. Yay! I think I’m going to go all out and zombie-fy myself.

Anyhow, in true spooktacular fashion, I present some essential Hallowe’en goodies that you need to immerse yourself in.

Candy and Kids – Nowadays, as most of us reading this blog are adults, it’s time to up the ante. We can’t go around getting candy, so we need to do the next best thing – scare the bejeezus out of the little ones. My memories fade back to how scary it would be when Nanny would pop out her teeth. Now that was a fright! Tonight, I have ambitions of hiding inside the giant hill of leaves that I have yet to take off the lawn. In reality, I will probably just hand out candy from the safety inside my house while watching a horror flick.

Horror Flicks – Come on people. If you’re too scared, you don’t deserve any candy. I’m a big fan of the horror genre, so I present to you my all-time faves:

• Evil Dead/Army of Darkness – I am scared of the woods at night, it’s no secret. So this just makes me wet my pants when watching it. However, when you get farther into the movies, they just get hokey which is awesome because Bruce Campbell is the greatest actor alive. He is the true B-Movie actor.

• Hallowe’een – Move over Freddy and Jason. Mike Myers was the cool stoic one walking around like nobody’s business and slashing you with that big kitchen knife. One of my personal faves of the whole bunch.

• Blair Witch Project – Alright, alright. I know, it isn’t that scary. But it is if you’re scared of the woods at night AND if you don’t know the secret behind the movie (which won’t be spoiled here on Palmer’s World.) I was blown away when I first saw this movie a few years back. This movie will make you cry out ‘Mommy!’

Costumes – All costumes must adhere to the principles of good Hallowe’ening while at the same time, provide a balance of practicality. For example, if you’re going to wear a pumpkin on your head for the event, leave enough room to stick your beer bottle in there so you can keep hydrated. No one likes a dehydrated pumpkin head. Let it also be known that there is no excuse for not having a costume ready by the day you are actually hosting a party. That’s just poor form. A bathrobe does not count.

Practicial Jokes – Hey, there’s a Gremlin in every bunch so it’s good to lay a joke out here and there on Hallowe’en. My personal fave is when you slash your buddy’s tires and when he gets up to go to work, there is a look of horror on his face. This, my friends, is what it considered a great practical joke. Or, the old burning of the front yard tree goes well on Hallowe’en also. I’m not a fan as of this joke alltomuch as there may be squirrels starting to collect their nuts for the winter.

TV Shows – Hey, we all love the Great Pumpkin. Krista tipped me off that this would be playing last Friday so Vero and I caught it on TV. Vero was very thankful she found out what the big deal was all about.

I hope everyone has a good Hallowe’en, and I hope that everyone makes an effort to watch SOMETHING that is spooky.