Category: Reviews

“Don’t watch this alone…or sober!” – Warning Label on the Copy at Suspect Video – Queen Street West, Toronto.

I hadn’t seen the warning label before watching this on Friday night, but luckily, with Carrie, Vero and I arriving in Toronto, we were definitely not alone, and definitely not sober while watching this.

What can I say about Turkish Star Wars? If all Turkish films are like this, I’m moving there. The blatant rip-offs of Star Wars special effects, as well as the super-cheese martial arts moves (how the heck does he jump into the air like that? Oh yes…a trampoline!), and characters who have costumes which appear like something out of a bad Hallowe’en party; add to the amazing film which is known in the Western World as Turkish Star Wars.

I was thinking that there would be Star Wars references (read: rip-offs) throughout the entire film. It starts out with footage of all the space battles from Star Wars (aka, the X-Wings fighting the Death Star) for about 10 minutes and then…that’s it. The rest of the movie deals with the two pilots who have crash landed on a planet which somehow looks like Turkey. I’m only guessing at this because I’ve never been to Turkey. But it had deserts. I think Turkey has deserts.

Much hilarity ensues and we had some great laughs at this movie. I would also like to point out that the guy in the movie must be pretty popular because we were watching Lost and Found: Volume 7 the next day and saw some clips of him kicking ass Turkish style in it.

I forgot to give you guys a review of this book I finally finished.

Through time, I hope to give you reviews on every type of media which enters my life so that you (the consumer) may be well informed.

Backtrack six months ago – I was on a James Bond kick and discovered this great book via Amazon at a super low price of…I can’t remember. It was really low. Something like $20. By the way…shop on the used section of Amazon for great deals. Carrie introduced me to this way of reading.

Anyhow, so this James Bond book covers EVERYTHING. Movie production, actors involved, writers, business behind the movies, the books being written, the legal woes, the political climate at the time of the movies, what other movies were big, the spy genre, big photos, stats….you name it, they got it.

I seriously did not find anything missing from this book. They even included the pseudo-Bond film Never Say Never Again which is usually missing from other compendiums.

It’s a thick read. 320 Pages. It’s huge so I couldn’t bring it on the bus with me. So it’s was one of the ‘before I go to sleep’ books.

If you’re a fan of Bond and are interested in everything about him and his world, I recommend this book. I would even go as far as saying it’s worth the $75 price tag. It leads all the way up to the production of Die Another Day.

In other Bond news, I’ve heard that they are redoing all the Bond DVDs for better picture and audio quality. Hold off on your purchases!

Hey hey hey!

Another season of Smallville done!

I almost forgot to review it for my faithful readers.

I would to first start off by saying that I’ve brought Mike into the fold and he is addicted to the point where he is on Episode 16 of Season 4 while I am on Episode 4.

What can I say? What should I say? I know there are people out there that hate spoilers (such as myself) so I won’t go into that terrain.

What did I like about this season? Got a little darker…WAY darker in a few spots with the Luthors…less and less non-mythology episodes, more and more interesting plotlines.

What didn’t I like?
Well…I find the formula was wearing thin a little. Lana and Clark – they are like Dawson and Joey. On again, off again, blah blah blah. Is that what makes us love these shows? Because we are always wondering if they will work it out? Let’s be honest – In Superman III, we know that they never really hit it off after school. But, at the same time, Smallville is re-writing the history of Superman in some spots, so they can change on a moment’s notice.

Season 3: Final Verdict – Pretty killer episodes mythology wise. Best I’ve seen yet. The other filler episodes…meh.

Sneak Peek at Season 4: All I can say is that I’ve seen 4 episodes already and the series has new blood in it. I’m glad. It’s not old anymore. By the way, interesting developments with a certain someone with the initials LL. I am laughing at this because Eric was mentioning there is a fascination with the initials LL throughout the series…Lex Luthor, Lionel Luthor, Lana Lang…etc. I figured it may be because Superman’s real name is Kal-El.

What’s my favourite thing in the world? Swing dancing!

Not really! I have never tried it. Until Saturday night when Mike, Duncan, Claudine, Vero, Marc, Sara and Chantelle ventured out to the free lesson at Ottawa U. What can I say? It was alright. The only problem I had with it is that I had a whole 2 minutes of dancing with Vero and then had to switch partners. Boo. I don’t mind dancing, but let me look like a fool and a fun time with someone I know.

I was also severely snubbed during the event seeing that when I went to the next girl in line, she bailed and went to dance with a friend who just showed up, which left me standing in between couples dancing and me staring the wall. Then memories of the same events happening at Grade Eight dances came flooding back (actually, let’s be honest here and realize that no one actually danced at Grade Eight dances and it was cooler to just hang out near the wall) and I felt dumb so I did what every good man does – bail for the washroom. Ah…the safe haven. No one can question what you’re doing in the washroom. Unless you spend 20 minutes in there and your girlfriend sends my friends over to see if I’m alright. Anyhow, I’ll admit, I bailed, I was a baby, but whatever. I don’t dig dancing with people I don’t know.

So…would I do it again? Well, why not? Only if I could just dance with someone I know.

Also, I don’t know how useful swing dancing is in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps ballroom is better suited? What am I saying? It’s not like I go to any balls or anything from the 19th century here.

iplaying: Hot Metal Streaking Down the 401 – Sam Roberts Band – 2005-08-25 Buffalo NY

Ah, the return of Kate Bekinsale as the (meow) Selene.

Caught the sequel to Underworld at Silvercity on Saturday amidst a giant snowstorm. I especially like how Carol asked me if it snowed in Ottawa and I looked out the window and said no. This was, of course, totally wrong as I was looking into my backyard which has been full of snow for months.

Also, I was asked how old I was at the counter to the movie theatre. This has never happened to me. It was odd to think that this guy thinks I am under 18.

Actually, before I really start this review, let me talk a little more about the trip to the theatre. So, as you all know, Ottawa (and pretty well all of Ontario) was pelted with snow. I get to an intersection and notice across the street that there are two ladies with their car stuck in the ditch. Better sense prevails and I drive over to help them. Upon showing up:

Ladies: Oh thank you for coming over to help.
Me: No problem, let’s try and rock it back and forth.
Ladies: Do you think some cardboard under the tires will help?
Me (with this incredulous “God no, the cardboard won’t work, what are you thinking? You’re stuck in the snowbank!” look on my face): Well, I don’t know, you could give it a try.
Ladies: Alright, here you go!
(She passes me a piece of cardboard the size of my palm).
Me: Uh, thanks. (Shoves it under the tire, which is totally useless other than the fact that it’ll probably just impale me in the side of the head when she starts spinning).

Anyhow, I’m making headway and I was thankful that another gentleman stopped and helped me push the car out of the snowbank.

Thank you’s are passed around and I get back into my car and sit there plugging in my cellphone when I look into my rearview mirror and notice the guy is back again pushing the car out of the snowbank.

That’s right…they drove right back into the ruts they created into the snowbank.

Drivers of the world, heed my advice! Avoid the same freakin’ spot you just got stuck in.

Onto the movie…

So, the movie picks up literally right after the first one…if anything, a few hours later, nothing more. Selene and Michael are on the run and then Marcus shows up to kick some ass.

All in all, I liked the movie. Definitely not a rental. However, I must say that I would have preferred some clans of vampires vs. werewolves instead of the movie focussing on singular characters such as Selene, Michael, Marcus etc. That’s my only gripe. Very tiny gripe.

Last night in honour of Sena returning to the fold which is Ottawa, we watched a Hitchcock film. My first of the sort. Benoit suggested it.

The verdict is in – it’s a great flick!

I thoroughly enjoyed the film…it had suspense, it had a hot leading lady, it had a spy story. You can’t go wrong. Some people commented on how this could be a precursor to the Bond films.

My question about Hitchcock is this…as far as I know (I haven’t done much research), he is the master of suspense. Also known for his revolutionary film making techniques.

Well, here in 2006, the techniques aren’t exactly new to me. Heck, I couldn’t pinpoint which ones would have been revolutionary. What I need is a study guide to go along with the film to point out things that were in its infancy when the film was being made. I think I would appreciate the film more that way.

It’s like when you watch a film nowadays and you say ‘Hey great film, but where were the special effects.” and then people list off of a slew of them and you say “Holy crap, that was a special effect? No way!”. Supposedly that is the greatest compliment to a special effects person…letting them know that you didn’t even realize it was a special effect (unlike the Burly Brawl sequence in the Matrix Reloaded where it saddens me to see a computer generated face on top of Neo. OR, in Revenge of the Sith with all the Jango clones running around…their faces are kind of sad. With time, it will improve.)

Let’s talk about CGI for a moment…I predict in the future, that someone will have the nerve to make a new John Wayne film. Or a new Bruce Lee film. It will be the era of resurrected movie heroes. Technology can allow us to do that…the question is, will the public buy it? Who knows.

Quote of the Day – “I love watching old movies because it makes me feel young!” – Palmer while watching North By Northwest

iplaying: Infinite Sadness (outtake 93) – The Smashing Pumpkins – Mashed Potatoes

Hey, I’m not talking about no movie here, I’m talking a novel that I read. That’s right. Get off your lazy asses and read a book once in awhile. Regardless of whether or not I have to read books for my courses, I make it a point to read at least one chapter of a book a day. Now that I live in the boondocks of Ottawa, I can afford the time to read 10 chapters due to the commute. Nonetheless, for those people who walk to work, take the time before bed…read a chapter. Your brain will slowly transform from the mush which it is into some weird sort of super-brain with useless pop trivia and Napolean Dynamite quotes!

Onto the review. Pride and Prejudice. Romance. In the late 1800s. Boring? Nah. It was decent. I thought the language would be hard to read…it was not. I thought it would be a lame romance story. It was not. I thought it would have simple characters. They did not.

This is a snapshot of how it was to be in love in the 1800s. Gone are the days where you pick up the apple of yer eye at a dance club where you can’t even hear what they are saying (which is fine for us fine looking gentlemen, but for those uglies out there…heck, I’m sorry.) but you go to the ball to pick up the fine ladies. Granted, you have to be rich to pick these ladies up…they do not settle for no commoner.

So, here is the story of Elizabeth and her family of crazies trying to hunt down a man. Scandal ensues in various points of the story and I believe I may have heard fifteen times that I must watch the BBC Mini-Series with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy (thanks ladies! I’ll get right on that!) and it all ends…well, I won’t ruin the story for you. Do yourself a favour, go and read it! It’s 200 years old! It can’t be a bad read if it’s lasted that long!

All in all, I’m glad I read it, but I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite book. But it wasn’t boring either.

Oh George Romero, how I love thee.

Part Three of the Dead Series, Trish invited us over to catch Day of the Dead.

What can be said about this film (as well as the series)?

As I did last night, I’ll recount the entire series in a manner of moments. Part 1 involves the dead rising from the grave (aka zombies). Part 2 continues on with the story…the dead are taking over the cities and know one knows how it happened. There is very minor mention of scientists believing it had to do with some meteor shower occuring in Part 1 and that the rocks are making the dead rise. So the movie follows a bunch of people holing themselves up in a shopping mall.

Day of the Dead shows a bunch of scientists and army types holed up in a bunker underground. I thoroughly enjoyed this film as it showed more of what the intellectual types were doing about the problem (as opposed to Film 2 where they just followed some civilians to see what they were up to). The scientists are trying to find a way to control the zombies. But at the same time, the dead are walking in more numbers, taking over cities and countrysides. Needless to say, a lot of tension between the humans are in the movie – between the metholodical scientists and the gun-crazy army folks itching to do something other than hole themselves up inside a bunker for the rest of their days.

I enjoyed the story, I enjoyed the gore (best stuff yet!) but the dialogue (as Trish mentioned) was a little lacking. I didn’t mind so much as it showed a side of the humans when they get stressed out (aka incoherent ramblings along with every swear word known to man).

Two thumbs up for this movie. I am anxiously awaiting to see the final chapter Land of the Dead which has the dead taking over all Earth.

What the heck is an MR8-HD?

A digital multitracker that I just picked up this past weekend.

What’s a digitial multi-tracker?

The path to the future.

In all reality, it’s recording equipment for musicians. So I can plug in the guitar, a mic and whatever else and give’r. It’s pretty slick. Mike, Eric and I played around with it for awhile on Saturday night before the poker game at Shannon’s and were impressed. It’s pretty simple once you read the instructions (duh!). I can see some very fun things happening with this. One thing that will come of this is more ambition into songwriting. I used to write quite a bit, but left it a few years back…perhaps it was because I hated coming up with something and then the next day not really remembering how it went…

In other music news – Do not laugh…but I have heard that Guns N Roses WILL release Chinese Democracy this year. March, in fact.

Chez 106 had a segment on how they enjoyed this constants on January 1st – how you always think you’ll go back to the gym, how you feel bloated after a week of binging, and how the new GNR album will never come out again this year.

iplaying: The Silent Man – Dream Theatre – Awake

Jason introduced Eric to this movie who then introduced it to me.

Two cues way up for this movie. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Follow the life of a billiard genius who gets stuck in his life hustling the pool tables instead of getting into the big leagues where he’s meant to be.

Highlights: Lex Luthor with hair! Also, Christopher Walken (aka Uncle Mike.) You cannot go wrong with Christopher Walken in a movie (other than James Bond: The Living Daylights).

Rent this movie now!

iplaying: Erotomania – Dream Theatre – Awake