I received some bad news that Mrs. Townson had passed away so it was time to hit the road and head up North for an impromptu visit. I will share two stories about Mrs. Townson.
The $5 Bet
When I returned home for the summer from college in 1998, Wal-Mart was nice enough to give me a job to get me through the summer (this was, of course, I found a better paying job at Ontario Hydro later on). Unfortunately, the only position they had for me for the first while was as a greeter.
Now, the Wal-Mart greeter is an interesting position and one that I took pride in. If my job was to greet people when they entered the store, by jove, I was going to do that! “Bonjour, allo, hello, goodbye!” was part of spectacular vernacular that month of May.
However, they had implemented an interesting new policy. If people were entering the store with a shopping bag, it was up to me to ‘tag the bag’ with a sticker with my initials on it. Someone must have believed that this would somehow reduce shrinkage (a hilarious retail term you should look up!).
While this wouldn’t be too much of a pain in a regular stand-alone Wal-Mart building, it did pose a problem for a Wal-Mart part of the Model City Mall. There were tons of other stores that you could buy merchandise from and then you would want to cut through Wal-Mart on your way out of the mall.
This was probably the biggest controversy to hit Kapuskasing back in the summer of ’98. In fact, I’m sure if someone has saved a copy of the Northern Times back then, there were probably public complaints every week about it. Now that I think about it, it probably worked at cross purposes of the goal of the store…to get foot traffic and sell merchandise. People went out of their way to avoid the store when walking around the mall if they had a bag with them.
How do I know this?
Because Mrs. Townson make it her life’s goal to avoid me at all costs. You would hear stories of her taking the back hallway to avoid having to get her bag tagged.
But it was my job to make sure it happened.
One fateful evening, I was sitting in the Townson’s living room.
Mrs. Townson: “You will never tag my bag. I will make sure you never get the chance!”
Me: “I will hunt you down and make sure that the security polices of Wal-Mart are enforced! I will send the hounds of hell to get you!” (My memory may be a little hazy as to what was actually said.)
Mrs. Townson: “I bet you $5 that you will never tag my bag.”
Me: “I’ll take that bet.”
The hunt was on! My eagle eyes were trained for one target and one target only that month of May. I would hear her cackle when she managed to rush by me when I was helping (aka tagging) another customer. I was shake my roll of stickers furiously at her and vow revenge each time she snuck by. I’m also pretty sure she would just camp out of sight and manage to swoop by when I was otherwise occupied. She was a valiant foe. She was the Joker to my Batman.
But then, a larger paycheque called and I decided to leave Wal-Mart and go work for Ontario Hydro.
Some time later, I remember sitting at the Townson’s house and she came in and said “So…where’s my five bucks?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Mrs. Townson: “You lost the bet. You never managed to tag my bag.”
I stared her down for awhile and realized my villain had bested me. There was no way I could get out of paying this $5 bet.
Me: “Oh, you’ll get your 5 bucks.”
I went on a mission and that mission was to deliver her 5 bucks in the most grueling way possible. There was really only one option.
I decided to glue 500 pennies to a piece of wood and apply a nice coat of varnish to it. As Spock would say, it was the logical choice.
I found a piece of wood in the workshop that just happened to be an excellent size to glue 500 pennies to. I can’t remember the specifics of how many rows I had but I do remember that I figured I should put some effort into it and make one row as heads, and one row as tails. I also remember finding an older penny; I cannot recall the date on it, but it was very old so I remember placing it in a specific spot out of the ordinary in the tails row so you could see the date.
After spending an evening gluing these to a board, I varnished it and let it sit.
The next day I went over with my board and found that no one was home so I propped it up on a chair in the kitchen without a note. You don’t need a note pinned to a piece of wood with 500 pennies glued to it.
I wasn’t there when she received it, but I can only imagine the laugh she had at it as I have heard about the board of pennies for years later. It was our ongoing story. Every friendship has a story like that. In my heart, I know that a teenage boy earned some respect and love from a friend’s mother that day I paid my dues to her.
Christmas Eve
Hanging out on Christmas Eve
I found out early on that in Carol’s house, Christmas didn’t stick around too long. Mrs. Townson did not like Christmas and those decorations were probably taken down shortly after Santa visited.
I make it a point to visit their house every Christmas Eve when they have a little gathering of friends and family. Every year after church, I head over for a visit…sometimes long, sometimes short (if Mom and Dad were hosting their own party), but it is my one time of the year to visit the Townson household. With a rye in hand, we will watch the greatest of all Christmas films: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
While I know that Mrs. Townson didn’t have much love for Christmas, I would like to think that deep down inside, she loved Christmas Eve because of the people that came and visited. That’s why I made it a point to come and visit…to make sure she got a little Christmas cheer in her even for the briefest of moments.
Here’s to you Mrs. Townson.